Positivity, Bla Bla Bla and Poop!

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“Oh ladki Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa, Oh ladka Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa Aaa, Oh ladka Aankh maare, aakh maare, o ladka aakh maare……” at iTunes played by Ishu who is 27 years old and a local contractor!

“The Government needs to install enough water cabinets within……” getting posted on Facebook by Aparna who is an RJ.

Photo by Sergio Briones on Unsplash

“Good Morning all” broadcasted to 144 users by Gautam who is a Social Worker.

“Apaharan: Episode 5, continuation…” by Chinki, who works in Indigo!

“Cricbuzz scorecard for India vs Australia…” checked by Gaurav, who is pursuing masters from France.

“Zeeshan’s last night party story on Instagram…” checked by Afreen, who is a professional.

And a lot many stories happening inside all the bullet Washrooms of the Countries!

What can be better than this:

Mornings + Energy + Fresh Mind + Tea/Coffee + Inspiration + Loo + Smartphone + Power Bank + Internet – Poop = Life!

Woman Texting While Using The Restroom


Once done, read this as well: A research shows 75 percent of people use their smartphone on the TOILET

Loo is the best place where one listens to his heart, soul and mind. The place where people can cry, laugh, smile, weep, read, talk, think, plan and perform all the emotional actions which are hard to be performed in the society.

And surprisingly, people tend to spend hours there!

We should take pride in this that there is only 2 variety of loos largely recognized!

Western Pot and Indian Pot!

I N D I A N, yes, Indian!

And the world knows it!

And sportsmen, swimmers and athletes are recommended to use INDIAN POTS!

We did a small survey with 15 participants and asked about their preferences and we got a similar response.

They liked Western Pots but preferred Indian ones!

Why do people love spending time there?

0. No Disturbance Zone: People crave for it, yes people do. This fast running, highly interactive, disturbing world is subconsciously hitting our brains. Thus, we may not directly feel the pain of disturbances due to social conditioning, but psychologically, we get disturbed. This is the reason we tend to spend the best time of our life at loo. We, our gadget, some bacteria and that one lizard who stares at us on the wall, without making any noise, makes us happy.

1. Comfort Arena: And it is comfortable though! When you remove your pants, they feel relaxed. “Humans feel more content when completely naked”, shown by a study conducted by Dr Keon West of Goldsmiths University in London.

Now, the question arises, why more comfortable in loo than a bathroom?

The simple answer to this is, Not Every Smartphone Is Waterproof!

2. Quick Focus: Mostly Loo area is small. Smaller the place, lesser is the distraction, simple math! So, when you look straight, you find a blue tile, you look right, you find a blue tile, on left, you find a blue tile, ok enough of blue, let’s switch to Instagram! You don’t have your Television there or your wardrobe or your couch or even your siblings to spoil your mental peace!

3. Regularity: Believe me or not, this is the only thing persistent in your life, no matter what religion, race, sex, age group or caste you represent. This is something you have been doing since ages and will be doing till the end of mankind! Poop is the secret of our energy. It all starts with our moms teaching how to wipe and ends at the pot under your bed in the hospital.

Our Survey team from Venus conducted a small survey with a few rich and beautiful people. The survey option was to choose between

Spending time at Loo vs. Spending time with a Dog


We believed that people will go for the second option because we ourselves were not that sure about the first, however, the results were totally one-sided.

People declared their love for LOO as the clear winner!


And both the genders participated boldly for this survey.



The Upsetting Dimension (a part of Human, the Evil!) 

Indeed we find our loo more comfortable, we get wind of disappointment when we use public toilets!


PUBLIC TOILETS ≠ OUR RESTROOMS


Aliens from Dark Dimension come and spoil the public toilets designed for our comfort. ”

Our Pizza Delivery boy, John Singh Ali, who has a kidney stone, once was stuck in traffic and had to use the toilet. He parked his vehicle under the tree and rushed to the public toilet.

As soon as he entered, he found:
– Phone Numbers of Nidhi, Mini, Pinki, Tina
– I love Anita, Kimi is my Jaan written on the dismantled and creepy door
– Some hellish foul odour
– A lot of pee (which amusingly was floating on the pale floor as well)
– Dirty pot
– Some Dead Cockroaches
– Some Cigarette Filters
– A dirty mug, full of Urine, as if some brave Alien peed on the mug itself
– And a lot of disappointment

He then decided to leave the “Palace” and chose to pee in public.

Shreya, the local Social Worker, clicked his picture, shared it over twitter!


And, he lost his job then!

Anyway!

We can only pray to the Lord to stop Aliens from dirtying our loos! We love them.

Tips:

0.  If you are using your cellphone in the loo, please wash it as well because it may absorb thousands out of the trillion BACTERIA over there.

1.  If you can’t wash your phone, buy a waterproof phone and then wash it regularly after loo because the same phone is used at the time of eating, sleeping, joking, reading, feeding, cuddling…. oops!

2.   It might be gross to a lot of readers to realize that you might actually be tasting those nasty and noxious bacteria when you scratch your lips or nose with the same fingers that were previously touching the phone.

3. Please when you use a public washroom, use it as you would in your home, not like some enemy country’s Military Basecamp!

4. You might finally puke if I tell you that the pen and pencils you passionately nibble on contain the same amount and caste of bacteria that are found in chimps armpits.

 

 

Working to create something real!

2 comments

  1. Nice article. I love to free my intestines in the Loo whenever I get the call and play games on my phone. Sometimes I even sit there doing nothing. 😄

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